Well howdy!

Its been months since I've posted here, hasn't it been?

Maybe this is what I need to keep me in track, eh? I have lost about 10 lbs since the last time I posted but right now my weight is between 206 and 208, which isn't horrible but I would like to just continue dropping. I know that there is no quick fix, and I'm not going to magically be thin...But I would love that to no end.

I just dont have the energy to get up and exercise like I want too. And I want too, I just cant be bothered. And now John is calling and if I ignore him he may kill me.

Day Six

So I missed a day.. But I ate healthy for lunch.
Perhaps today I'll work out... Yea, and pigs will fly.

Apparently my blog is under review for spam, which means I don't even know if this will post. If it does, yippee! If it doesn't I call bullshit on the fact that my weight loss journey to them is spam. I laugh in the faces of Blogspot.. Mainly out of anger.

I suppose I need to start writing a bit more. I suppose I should buckle down and work harder if I want this to work. And I do want it to work, so maybe now is time.

Check in on Alli.com is Friday.. I wonder if I can work out for an hour before then? Maybe I'll lose another pound!

Heres hoping..

Day Three

Things I ate today:
Peach Yogurt and 100 calorie Granola bites

Chips and laughing cow cheese

entire spinach and Artichoke dip with Ranch dressing
Three chicken fingers and fries


Note to self, while dieting do not go to the applebees.
Tomorrow I'll be making cupcakes for English class, and if I can manage not to eat any then I'm doing ok. I'm not hungry, but food is my comfort. Food is where I turn too if I'm upset, bored, angry or even just lonely.

I think thats why I love JoAnne's house so much.. I can smoke inside which means something to do with my hands instead of eating chips or candy or whatever it is I can manage to get my hands on.
Sigh. I knew this was going to be hard, but I had no idea I was going to fail twice in a row.

Someone just get a shot vac and suck the fat out of me.

I want to take a "Before" Picture of myself as motivation.. Me in my underwear in stark light just so I can see what I really look like. Seeing it daily may make me more motivated, or may make me just want to slit my wrists and call it a life.
I don't like the way I look, I hate the way I look. I miss my cheekbones, I miss being able to see my feet. I miss being able to cross my legs.
And one day I'll get there again, but how long until that happens? Years? Months? death?

Eventually I'm going to be happier about myself.
I promise.

Day Two

Well it's day two, as the title so obviously states. I binged last night. But to be fair it was a girls night with Chantel and Jes who I haven't seen in a month or so. Boneless wings, Spinach and Artichoke dip, and then top it off with a blondie and a giant icecream sundae. We all shared, which means I ate less..But still no good for you.

This afternoon I had a Campbell's tomato soup and a whole wheat bun. probably about 9 grams of fat total, so much better. For dinner I'll have a salad and quite possibly a sandwich.

I worked out again about 5 minutes total with the last thirty seconds going as fast as I could. Sadly my joints in my knees kill when I run. I can hear my left knee clicking with each movement, and it's driving me nuts. But in time hopefully that will improve and go away if we're lucky.

I may look up some basic leg/knee exercises. Maybe strengthening it will help stop the clicking.

Tomorrow is my day of rest, I may decide to get on it anyway, we'll see.
Until then, lets hope that my stomach full of water doesn't kill me.
:D

Day One

I purchased Alli months ago and used it for a while, but after enough days of working at a resturant and wanting something deep fried and delicious I gave up and binged. Months later I have decided to take another stab at dieting and hopefully keeping track of everything will help me out.

With Alli you're only allowed to eat 19 grams of fat per meal, which sounds like a lot but when you have a house full of kids like mine (Siblings.) it's not as simple as you might think.
Giving up my addictions to Diet coke and cigarettes is going to be harder than anything, but I think cutting back to start with is alright.

I have decided to run on my eliptical as long as I can until my knees can not take it anymore. As it is now, it's about 5 minutes at 3.0-3.5, which is nothing impressive I know. But if I keep this up, I'll be able to go longer and faster and watch the pounds melt away.

Now I have to decide what to have for lunch.
I'm thinking turkey sandwich with lots of fatfree/calorie free mustard. Mmm flavor.

Until tonight, tomorrow or whenever I post again.. Wish me luck